Well off the wagon on the wagon off the wagon and stayed off. Story of my life. This is the busiest time of the year I have had so far and I must say what a journey it has been. I have travelled so much this year and my ability to hold myself has been quite SHIT. No real motivation or dedication to preparing myself for moments where I was going to get caught out. And what do I feel right now. FAILURE...... Yes I allowed myself to fail, as I have this repeated pattern that I have not quite discovered how to break. I have put on some cms and a few hundred grams which is ok but I tell you what it FEELS HORRIBLE. I really do feel unhealthy. Amazing at just a little amount can make you feel so disgusting. Anyway, not going to pound myself too much but work on the day after xmas to put some real big whammies back and then after new years completly dedicate myself to the last few weeks of the program.
