Determination - Inspiration - Achievement

2009-07-31T07:09:00.000+10:00

http://majiikhappens.blogspot.com/

I think that will work.

Blog Opening

2009-07-30T09:38:00.000+10:00

Well just thought I would let those know that follow my blog that I have also opened and been utilising my other blog "Journey to Success". I was going to secretly do it but have since been having lots of fun writing on it more than this one. Hence my lack of posting.

A Special Occasion

2009-07-23T11:03:00.002+10:00

Well I am off to Canberra tomorrow on a spontanious trip to surprise my Mum for her birthday on Saturday along with the other 2 people we know who also share the same day.

So if I can get on to posting whilst I am down there I will be sure to post something but if not I will be back in action by Monday or Tuesday.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and the scales are on the down for everyone.

2009-07-21T18:16:00.004+10:00

Well just had to post again, cause it keeps my mind thinking about what I should be doing and not doing. I was just doing the kids dinner, cheese on toast and was wondering why I had this real overwhelming sense of I NEED SUGAR....

1. not enough water today,
2. I forgot to eat afternoon tea - shit...

Question for anyone - does this mean that my body is going into Ketosis?????

So grabbed an apple (omg it tasted sooooo yummy) and ate that cause it is now tooo late to have afternoon tea so close to dinner and proceeded to make a bowl of low kj jelly cause I think this may lead to getting a fang for sugars after dinner. And yeah I was standing there slicing the block of cheese for the toast and oooopppssss a few little chunks went into my mouth. Oh crap I was munging on a bit and realised what I was doing. I am not going to strap myself for it but thought i would sit here blogging it. Being accountable.... I think I probably had a full slice all up, which is not on the menu and is the foods I think I should be staying away from. So mistake one for the week. But on the good side of it, I served it up to the kids - drooling a little at the way it looked and smelled and walked away to where I sit now typing away.

Note to mental self - I need to be conscious of all that goes in my mouth instead of running on auto pilot whilst in the kitchen.

2009-07-21T15:31:00.002+10:00

Day 2 - going to plan today, and food well I think I may get addicted to eating the right foods again. I know its only 2 days in but I feel better having the food in my body. My 2 younger sons are loving it too, they hover like flies while I eat the oat pancakes and I generally get around half of what I make because they are sooooooo asking MORE MORE MORE mummy. THey love it, which is a good thing. My little boy Cj absoloutley loves all the other food I am eating too, sharing it when he can pull the most cheekish head cocked look and I cave and let him share it with me. So looks like I will have to start making extras. Will have to give Keks recipe a go with the apple pancake, I think that would soon become a favourite and possible a quick and easy dessert for them.

Kerry, glad you enjoyed your weekend, my body aches just thinking about all the things you did.

Anyways hope you all have a really great day and till next time.... Tootlepip

Blog Addicted Again

2009-07-20T21:42:00.002+10:00

Well I have been very addicted to blogging today. Being the start of my journey to slimmer me today I have been searching and blogging. Great to catch up with everyone and all that is happening around the place.

So I had a quote for the week being my week 1 adventure. ACCOUNTABILITY is my key for this week and I am being literal in that. Documenting everything I eat and do. Whoo hoo, finally managed to realise how I cheated myself out last 2 programs. Not intentionally but subconciously. My photos werent done right and my eating wasnt documented correctly. So what a challenge it was doing the photos. CRAP I look friggen huge. I have never stuck my gut out like that ever, well allowed it to rest that is, I generally hold it in that it has become second nature to hold it there. So no pics are going up for anyone until I feel a little bit more comfortable and accountable.

So that is me in a nutshell for today, all went well, I achieved a CLEAN day of eating and a sense of well being and achievement.

Bye ;-)

2009-07-12T17:35:00.002+10:00

Sunday sunday sunday. Oh how I am dreading the next 2 weeks of school holidays. NSW seems to be last on the line for holidays this time round. So another hair pulling 2 weeks with a house full of kids from all places. What to do, hhhmmm not a lot I must say.

Well I decided that I should get on and post on my blog seen as though I am a all talk no action kind of gal. Every time I put my "I;m gonna do this and that", I fall way off the mark and stop. How stupid I say. Still trying to figure it out actually why I do that. Any ideas anyone??

So - things have been pretty slow up here, finding it hard to deal with alot of things at the moment. 1 being hubby still trying to find work. Arrgghh it is really hard not having a regular income other than the government and let me tell you, IT SUCKS severely. I didn't in my wildest dreams think i would get stuck in the rut of looking for work that can be a life saving income. So in saying all that, I ha vent been able to do all the things I wanted to such as be a regular part of the Tony Ferguson program. Out the window that went and the terrible thing was, I really liked the shakes, they tasted absolutely fantastic and fill the spot. So back to square one and trying to make the changes I need to get back into some sort of reality of a routine.

Frankie, my hands applaud you for having the MOTIVATION and the DRIVE to getting out into your gym ALL THE TIME. I really don't know how you do it but you are absolutely fab for doing it. I have a gym on the deck that I see everyday right there if you know what I mean, but jesus I just cant get myself out on it. Too many distractions and it is a real oh well I need to do this and that. So I haven't done anything but 1 workout on it and guess what? Its rusting up. Oooops. Salt air getting to it more than me LOL.... So I have been tooing and frowing for the past few weeks how to get myself into something and motivated, so did join the gym down the road. $10 a week for as many times as I like so not too hard on the purse strings. Very very excited about it and it has made me realise how much I missed it when I moved. I feel a little bit more worthy of myself now that I have to physically go and mingle with other people and do things. I only joined last Tuesday but have been sussing the place out. Have done 2 Pilate's sessions and half hour on the tready and elliptical trainer. Oh so good feeling sore I must say. The only sad part of it all is the gym is sooooo old, the machines are old and they make you work harder cause they don't move as swiftly as what I am used to. They have limited weight machines there, and I am still trying to figure out how many of them I can use that were on my previous programs. The free weights area is down stairs into what was know as the "MANS ROOM". Women - what women, none of them use it. Apparently they have been trying to get women down there for the past 18months and no-one is interested. Hhhmm apparently the walls were lined with lady pics, nudey ones I am suspecting and well they pulled them all down cause I think their were some complaints but it still hasn't helped any. God, as I said to the owner, you would think it would be some what of an inspiration actually to see all the pics up there. But anyway, that's their choice I suppose. So as soon as I crack the 80kg mark I think I might brave it down there and start some weighty workouts again.

Still kinda shit on the diet front, this IS MY PROBLEM to all of my issues. I don't eat enough and what I do eat isn't anything special but does nothing for the body or my weight. Smoking still so it too isn't helping. Arrgghh another angle to tackle soon though. So I am not saying I am doing this or that or show my plans at the moment until I get into a routine and can be proud of the routine and have something to report. Just thought I would try this angle and see if I can push myself to be an ACHIEVER.

Hope to get on all your blogs soon and post some comments too, I have LOTS to catch up on.

Change of Direction

2009-05-29T09:21:00.006+10:00

I have done a flip over and done what I didnt think I would do. Yesterday I decided to try Tony Ferguson Weight Loss program. Not sure how it will go but I am going to give it a go. Since moving I have found it extremely hard to focus myself and get into a groove. As much as I talk about doing something, I just cant seem to get myself into it and stick to it so yet again I am going on another tangent and doing something different. I havent managed to get myself into an eating regime and well bad habits formed and well it is really hard to pull myself out of the hole I have managed to dig myself into. So in saying that cause I dont eat properly maybe having the shakes 2 a day may get me going into some sort of regular pattern.

My best friend is doing the same thing so some support on that front may make it a little different than previous attempts. I really need some extra support and having a similar achievment level it may just work. Over the last 2 weeks I have contracted a really horrible sinus/chest infection that is leaving me very breatheless and an undesirable amount of coughing to match it. Not very nice but not surprising what shit I have been doing to my body over the past 6 months. God it is hard to believe I have been up here for 6 months and havent really dont an aweful lot in the way of keeping in touch. I think in a way I have an eye opener to my bad habits and inconsistencies and yes doing what I have done is exactly what I do in sabotaging myself beliefs and attitudes. I am not going to whine about it, I think acknowledging this in my blog is enough for me to take note.

I also apologise to my friendly blogger ladies that I have deserted - my "team" so to speak that I initially started with. I hope you are all doing well and I suppose I am not going to make any promises to anything yet until I start to see my patterns going in the right direction. I hope you are all doing well and when i get the chance I will be checking out your latest posts to see where you are all at.

Anyway now that I have had my morning discussion with myself I best go and drink another bottle of water - get the water levels back up there again.

2009-04-29T10:42:00.002+10:00

Twilight - Absolutly in-love with these books and happy I read them all. Hhhmm my trip to Canberra consisted of reading, reading, reading. So much that my dad told me to shut up, he hasnt heard me talk so much. LOL. I read the series in a week. That good. I seen the movie twice and really got sucked into the books. Now the movie doesnt seem as good anymore ;-(........ Amazing how much more detail is in the books actually. So here is my recommendation, watch the movie first then read the books, but it isnt the type for everyone. I love romancy stuff with action. Now I am thinking of getting the True Blood series. Frankie you like the tv series dont you???? My mum has read 8 of the books so far and says they are good. Obviously there is more to do with sex in them than twilight but good otherwise. I have a new found thirst for reading. It takes a bit to get into reading and generally I cant read for a while after a good series cause I get distracted about the previous books. Anyway heres hoping.

Not alot happening at the moment, just enjoying the serenity of no kids. yay, loud music and a hip hop around the house, daydreaming of my hot body that is in my head. Geez I really have to push it out and start being a little bit more proactive about my actions I think. It has nearly been 12 months since we started the IBO and hhmm I still have gotten past the mark I dropped off at. Arrgghh. I keep obsessing with it crap. Oh well, happy camper at the moment so maybe less pressure will make it easier to deal with.

I am currently looking for work. YUK, so not really enthusiastic about it but it has to be done. Luke has had a few issues getting permanent work, and now that we had the extra body in the house it really sapped into our savings account and left us high and dry. So time to pull the finger out and start building it up. I really would like to buy a house at the end of the year so i must get to making the banks happy and get a job. Hopefully I can get one that works in with my desired school hours, but pushing it too I think. Will let you know how my efforts go.

Well have a great HUMP DAY everyone, and hears to the weekend around the corner.

Wow how does time fly so quickly

2009-04-28T15:16:00.003+10:00

Well it feels like foreva since I have been allowed access to blog let alone actually blog something.

Our family of 6 has now gone back to the original fantastic 5. YAY. What a trial has the past 5 or 6 weeks been. Ash came in and blew all the serenity I didnt think I had out of the water and added some whirlwind to what felt like a plug hole sucking the shit out of me. Wow I actually feel like I have gained a few years with teenage "attitude". So we made the big decision, time to go home to mum and keep going the way your going. Yes it was a pipe dream to be able to change his life and give him what we thought he would have longed for over the past many years. But I truely believe that he was given a misconception about us in the beginning so this made it extremely difficult to live with. That misconception was we were "rich or loaded as they say". GOD what a tragedy. So anyway while all the life of being a parent was sucked out of us, he certainly made it known that he wanted EVERYTHING. Anyway doesnt matter, he didnt friggen get it. Think he may need to learn what having a job means or something.

So anyway we had our holiday in Canberra for a week and a half and OMG reality set in, I was not cut out for this and our kids werent either. I felt so out of tune with myself and our life felt like it was going under little by little with him there. He managed to put my mum off her seat with his crap and nastiness with my kids that he coped a mouth full off her and it still didnt stop there. So after some deliberation we decided that walking on eggshells was NOT good and our kids getting ram-roaded with wedgies (that made them very red), sly pinching (causing bruising on chests) and rub it in your face I have Dads attention and you dont or I am going to take his attention away by butting in and pushing you out of the way was ENOUGH. So we decided he could go and live his miserable life with the bloodsucker wench of a mother and she can deal with the consequences of a total ARSE of an adult when he gets there. So have I detailed enough???? Have you ever seen a kid that has a sly look about him and in his eyes to think OMG he would and could do a terrible thing to hurt a little kid? Yep he is one of them.

So now I am feeling kind of aggrevated that I wrote all that cause it is one thing saying it to someone and another writing it down. So he went home yesterday afternoon but no without trying to STEAL stuff from the house and the BIG NO NO I dont condone and that is the thieving little prick took money out of my bag before he left in the 3 minute window he had to dash inside to grab a toy he forgot, hhhmmm, not impressed and well kind of set me aback that he actually did it. Wont be happy when he comes down in the holidays, oh dear I am not looking forward to it already. Shit.....

Okay some happiness to my story. My house feels absolutly WONDERFUL and it really is amazing at how it feels clean and peaceful. My boys were cuddly as ever last night and all of them slept really well and woke up happy, for a change. So all in all, back to it and more. We have a new found appreciation of what "teenage" years can do if you dont prepare and set good and appropriate examples. My kids will get a swift kick up the arse if they know whats good for them and not follow in toe.

I havent had a chance to get back into any sort of routine, giving I havent really had a chance to be alone to do anything, and having someone hanging off my hips watching everything I did. So my absence on here has been horrible, because I didnt want any interference what so ever from older eyes being able to read. Plus there hasnt been a time that I have been able to be on here for longer than 15minutes. That sucked.

So thought now I am FREEE again, I would say hi and try my best to keep my blogging regular and catch up with all you lovely cool cats once again.

Have a wonderful rest of the week.

Rach

Sunday Sunday Sunday

2009-03-22T08:40:00.002+11:00

Morning, well I finally have a chance to sit and blog. Ashley is now in our house, living with us. We had to go down to his town to pick him up on Friday night. God what a drive. 6 hours there and 6 back. I was absolutly knackered. Had to have a sleep at a rest stop and managed to squeeze in 3 hours - I think. So now he is living with us.

Wont be writing much for the next week and now have to pick my moments as to when I get on, because I dont want any eyes besides mine looking at what I am writing. I have him at home with me for next week to get him ready for school. Damn nabit I have to have an interview with the high school, and the posing question will be about his 3 suspensions he has had already. Shit I thought it was 2 but no it is 3 and they have all been fighting related. So a pretty pretencious boy one would think we have taken on board. We shall see how he goes I suppose, no need for pre-empting actions just yet.

So far he is settling in okay, all the boys love him to pieces and the rest of the neigbourhood kids are pretty stoked that he is here and low and behold, one of the young girl who babysits for us I think has STARS in her eyes for him. Jesus, it was a very funny moment watching the girls faces as they saw him. Brings back memories when your that young at the little heart flutters you get when you see a HOT boy...... LOL.... So I think we will see a little more of her than usual. They will be in the same year at high school and the same school, so who knows what MIGHT develop. ARRRGGGHHH, a teenager and now the teenage girls stuff. This is really almost surreal and now I really have to "slap" my face to snap me out of the lala. So yeah it is a big shock to me.

No judgement from us yet, we just have to see how the next week or 2 unfolds and take it one day at a time and deal with the "issues" as they arise. I do hope that we can do the right thing and not make things worse. I dont think I will but with all things you just never know. So Frankie, if you need any info on teenagers soon, I shall let you know, god I will probably be a wealth of information on them soon enough. And Emrys (our eldest) he is starting puberty too, only mild, like yours Frankie, just on the fringes of it. And it is probably going to be a moment of mass influx of grey hairs. Ohh nooooo. Must get myself alot of dye I think, retouch reguarly.

Well must dash again, need a break. Tootles ladies.

Turn of the Wheel

2009-03-19T07:03:00.002+11:00

Well today sees the sun shining very brightly this morning. OMG exactly as the picture says. So whats been happening in the last week. FAR TOO MUCH. We had my folks up for the weekend and it was absolutely delightful having them here. It has been the first time is 12 years that I haven't seen my parents for more than a week or 2, and it has been 8 weeks since we left Canberra. Kids had a ball and so did my parents. Very nice. Could be a destination that they consider for retirement which is cool.

So the other news that has consumed my thoughts and actions for the past 4 days is Ashley. His mum has had enough. He is moving in...... On Saturday....... OMG......... Yes a very fast reaction and one I am still reeling from actually. I had a call Monday afternoon and was stuck talking to her for an hour discussing her decision and why she came to the decision. Hhhm I think the fact she wasn't going to get anything from us got her to go this path. So her decision on Monday was that he comes and spends the rest of the year with us but not until after the holidays. We were going to do a meet on Saturday and see how he felt and there was a possibility that he was coming to Canberra for the holidays with us, that was the plan initially. But on the allocated phone calls, last night he asked on his mothers behalf if he could stay on Saturday. We said yeah that is fine, how long, a night, a week???? His words were for the year. OMG. So I think she has made him miserable enough to now want to leave.

Reasons for the sudden change of patterns for her is that her partner has left and it is apparently ALL Ashleys fault and she isn't happy about it. She spent a great length of the conversation telling how he was the one that has made him leave and that she needs to repair without him being there (well in a round about way). Partner has said he wont come home until Ashley is sorted out. So he is being made to feel feelings that us as grown ups find hard to deal with anyway. My heart really goes out to how he is feeling and what he must be going through. At 13 this must be a massive up heaval and a feeling of rejection for him.

But on the lighter side, I think this move will be a good one for him, at least we have some input into assisting him become a better man despite the adverse conditioning he has had growing up and maybe instill some good values to become a fantastic person. I hope it isn't too late to do that anyway. I know their personality traits and stuff like that are usually set in by the time they are around 8 so I am hoping that we can make a real difference in his life and help him feel loved and needed.

Oh dear, what a calamity. Not only have we moved to improved our own life but all these things that are happening around us too. The universe must believe that we are ready for it and are in a position to handle such things. I know I am in for some hell times with a teenager, god I wasn't expecting this for another 5 years with Emrys but hay, now I will have first hand experience to deal with it when he goes through it. So if my blogs or emails slow down you know that I am dealing with motherhood all over again. Teething problems and all, or I may just live on here blurting it all out there, so for those ladies that read my blog, sorry if my posts get boring. This is a massive change for me and it does effect my progress somewhat but I am trying to incorporate that to be a positive to it as well.

Hope you all have a great weekend and have fantastic weigh in results. Till later xxx

Venting beware

2009-03-12T12:54:00.008+11:00

Well today is my vent day. After a long, stressful and tedious evening with the mother of Lukes son. OMG sometimes I wish I could reach down the phone and just bitch slap this STUPID women. Well as I have said before, after 13 years of trying to locate Ash, we found him 5 or so weeks ago, and have had some regular contact with him since. We came up with reasonable terms to get access and was in the process of filing for a Consent Order to go through the courts. Making it official. But low and behold due to a conversation in relation to friggen Ebay last night with Ashley, he gave us their username so we could look up there stuff that they were selling. OMG what a drama friggen queen. Apparently we have crossed the line, prodded him for information and stemming from our last email to get Skype on their PC so we can chat for free, the stupid BITCH wants to file for child support. Oh well we have no dramas with that and have said in the beginning we have no problems with it. But she said I dont want anything. But due to the turn of events, Ashley is desperate to meet his dad and really wants it to happen ASAP. So now mum has backed herself into corner like the

kitty and is taking charge like the snake. Hhhhhmmm.. Dont get me wrong, I totally know where she is coming from but really does she not understand that she is really going to f*k herself up. Anyway, my morning events have been long and exciting, ringing around for advise on what we need to do. I really dont think she understands the repercussions that are going to stem from all of this. So let me fill you in a little about the situation. When he was born she refused to put Lukes name of the birth certificate.

Mistake number 1 coming fair up her clakker like the snake, its going to bite her on the arse. DOH. Mistake number 2 she said she didnt want a long draw out court case because they dont have the $$. Hhhmm, well to get any maintenance she now needs to prove him as the father, not by just saying he is the father but provide some evidence like a birth certificate or have the good will of Luke to sign a stat dec to say he accepts he is the father. WOW, didnt think that being a super bitch (her) would pan out so nicely for us actually. By not signing a stat dec SHE has to go to court asking for a DNA test to prove his fatherhood. Hhmm Luke is pretty happy with that decision as he said "I wont pay until my name is officially put on the certificate". Fair enough.

So her no court case has now been created to a long drawn out court case. Mistake number 3, we were being so nice and kind with all the access stuff and was going to travel 6 hours to her to see Ashley instead of meeting half way, so that it wont disrupt her fucked up life and it would make it easier for her. Well changes are now being made, that halfway mark is looking MIGHTY ATTRACTIVE, and a few other minor changes to go with it.

HHHmmmm this venting feels great. So my stress and anxiety is quickly turning because for once in my life I have listened, mulled over the situation instead of reacting like a firecracker. Now I see the bonus to being patient and sitting back and letting nature and the universe to act as it needs to. I do believe that I am in for a rocky road but still at least I know we have done the right thing. Slowly does it. So my little poemy thing up top really enforces that for me.

Thanks for reading I just needed to vent it out there because there is only so much you can discuss in the confines of the home.

Cleaning Funny for the Day

2009-03-11T10:50:00.008+11:00

Hhmm really is it any wonder. This is a males point of view on cleaning LOL

Well this morning sees me as the cleaning lady. Yay, dont you love it??? My folks are visiting us for the weekend so mad dash to clean the house and try and keep it clean. I so cant clean without music. Not any ordinary music, my bestest songs, and LOUD AS. Surely my neighbours get a little irritated. So I am at the moment taking a BREAK, shit, just realised the time. I have been at it for now a bit over an hour. Hope that counts towards my exercise routine, I have little wet patches all over and feel sticky so that must mean I am working out... LOL. Yeah when I clean, I cant help but boogey on down too.

Funny my new little puppy has been starring at me going WTF are you doing. Not sure whether to jump up and try and bite me to pulling all the dirty clothes out of the laundry as I put them there and run around the loungeroom like a twit. Here is a pic of our newest addition to the house Simbah. And YES another bloody male... As if I dont need anymore testoteron flying around this house...

My other little man.

So I best get back to it now, starting to cool down and still lots of cleaning to do. So hope you ladies have a really great day. Hhmm have been trying to attach some music to my post but not sure, Frankie, is it a matter of downloaded from Utube or something??? Ask you cause your so good at it.

Journal Entry

2009-03-10T20:26:00.005+11:00

So true, so true. Hhhmmm wonder if I am going to get that balance right before the end of the week. YES I am. No diet structure has started and a little half hearted with the exercise regime. Oh well I think I will stop thinking about my goals cause they seem to bloody steer me away from actually doing them. Crazy.

Well I didnt ride this morning as my other 2 shitlets decided that they wanted to play stupid bopit game and got seriously sidetracked. They left late this morning and I was sure I was going to have to drive them to school, so waited around for the "awww we missed the bus". But it didnt come, they got it thank god and well I had to drive Cullyn to school cause it was too late to ride. But I did manage to do a bike ride this arvo and crikey, shit I was absolutly stuffed and damn my arse is so sore from Mondays efforts on it. Damn I even have a cooshy seat cover to stop that pain right in there. My mission for the ride was because I thought child #2 had gone somewhere without telling me so I went looking for him, and well the ride was pretty much a real gradual incline and yep I was puffing and panting before I got to the top. It really felt like an RPM session, the burn was almost unbearable. So now I have found a good section to ride and well the gears are going to be able to make it harder for me. Actually when I get better at the ride and can breathe SMOKE free I think I am going to do what Kerry does and pack my bag with the weight that I have lost from the beginning, which is 6kgs give or take, so that is going to be REALLY challenging. Thanks for the idea Kerry.

Well did a bit of R&R reading many blogs today, god damn there are some talented writers out there and I tell you there are some really funny ones too. Will be reading more tomorrow I tell you, I think I am now officially hooked into the blogging again. Bought bloody time too.

Monday-Itis

2009-03-09T13:50:00.006+11:00

Monday - Itis

Dont you just feel like this on Mondays??? Well today saw a really nice perky morning, sun shining, with a nice coastal breeze. Got my ride and walk in as planned before mid morning. Then the clouds came over and the temperature dropped some what. And whoa now it is wet and wet and still wet. Hhmm may have to pick munchkin up via the car this arvo, I am not feeling much like riding in the rain. Still not focussed on the food side, which is something I think will come as the week goes on, but I did eat breakfast. Took my first week photos and measurements this morning. Eeek, thought I might have lost a bit, but no, still the same, maybe a little more pudge than I thought, going back over the last lot of pics I took. Oh well life is like that, you gotta start somewhere.

Had some interesting fun reading blogs this morning. Very interesting with what and how others write. Very inspiring actually.

So this week is my reflection week. I think I am going to reflect at how much I have changed since starting with IBO and how much my mindset has changed. My habits are the same so I need to work on those somewhat to make some real headway with my slimmer me. I have this image in my head and I feel that I am looking good and feel slimmer and more tight, until I see a photo of myself and get ashamed and feel sick in the guts with disgust at the picture. God how do others see me???? I seriously sometimes wonder if I am one of those people that get picked out in a crowd and sniggered at behind my back. I so try to ignore this feeling when I go out but once you see a reflection or an image of yourself in the flesh, it does get you thinking OMG maybe I am one of those people being stereotyped!!! I cant help keeping this at the for front of my mind, maybe it can help me in not slipping up and go back to old habits. So my reflection in all this is realistically, a size 14 is BIG. I cannot kid myself anymore, it is big and I really dont like being one either. I am plump and over weight and I need to stop thinking that I am not. It wont get me any closer to my goals if I dont start being realistic with myself.

So as out pouring as it is, I am now accepting that I have some pretty terrible habits and will make changes as needed to better myself. As you all say, one day at a time, so this to me is one day at a time. Today it started with being active, maybe tomorrow it will start with the food intake side of it. Regularity is a key.

Parting views for today,

Workout Schedule for Week 1

2009-03-08T15:22:00.002+11:00

Intentions

2009-03-08T13:39:00.007+11:00

Well its Sunday and today I have officially changed my blog background. Meaningful to me I love the colours. It has only taken me over a week to complete and find one I like. I am now trying to organise myself and my blog entries so that I can keep track of everything and put what I need to put in. So tomorrow is the start of the week and the start to my keeping track. I have lots planned and will endeavour to keep a track of my journey so that in 12 months time I can look back and go OMG.

So to my journal entry tomorrow.

Questionaire

2009-02-24T11:33:00.003+11:00

Questionaire time.....

1. Can you cook? Most definitely
2. What was your dream growing up? I don’t really know, maybe being filthy rich, oh and I always wanted to be a pole dancer – always wanted to be sexy
3. What talent do you wish you had? Being extremly flexible
4. Favorite place? Nature, green, lush and OMG views and serenity
5. Your favourite vegetable? Potato
6. What was the last book you read? Options trading (I think, its been so long) and Fattitude
7. What zodiac sign are you ? Libran
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Ears, eyebrow piercing and 1 gigantic tat
9. Worst Habit? Eating the wrong foods all at the wrong time - suuuugggaarrr
10. Do we know each other outside of blogging? Only on emails but hopefully in the flesh soon
11. What is your favorite sport? Netball
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude? Trying to be more optimistic, but have a tendency toward thinking negatively. Bad habits are a little harder to remove
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Freak that I was going to have a panic attack and or run out of air and no water to drink to clear the dry mouth I would ultimately have
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? Discovering that I have panic disorder – it affects my life too much
15. Tell me one weird fact about you: I secretly daydream of being a really good and hot pole dancer. Only weird thing I can think of.
16. Do you have any pets? 1 dog (another male to add to the other 4 in the house)
17. Do you know how to do the macarena? Unfortunately yes, kids love it
18. What time is it where you are now? 11.14am
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Well some are pretty cute I think using my imagination (1 at the Moscow circus was a real looker), other than that the makeup is there for a reason LOL
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? To have a buff body but 15kg smaller
21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Both, I am flippant with ideas and a little spontaneous always good at seeing both angles
22. What color eyes do you have? Green with envy
23. Ever been arrested? Never
24.Favorite fictional character of all time? I don’t know cant think of any at the moment, all I see is movies running through my head
25.If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Invest it and dance around like a twit that I actually won something worthy
26.If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Definatley would be telekinesis – imagine what you could do he he he (evil snear)
27. What’s your favorite hangout? At home so far
28. Do you believe in ghosts? Well they are just entities that haven’t moved on and yes I believe these, I have had a couple in my houses. Eeery as it sounds they are shadows that you think you saw out the corner of your eye but think your mind just made up. Sometimes you can actually see their shape. But it is what gift you were given at birth or acquired to actually see them.
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Card making and shopping
30. Do you swear a lot? Too much
31. Biggest pet peeve? When something is empty and left in the cupboard or the fridge and they DON’T tell me about it till I need to use it.
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Flamboyant
33. Will you re-post this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? You have already done it, but post yes..

Monday Monday Monday

2009-02-23T10:34:00.004+11:00

Well this is the start of my week. First workout in 2 months and feeling really good, body is responding really well to being worked out. I have so missed the shakes and just had one, yum, yum. Well this is my first start to a workout. Now just need to get some stamina up and shake the tight chest feeling that this infection is giving me. Slowly and steady is my key.

SICK SICK SICK

2009-02-22T09:13:00.010+11:00

Well its me again, and again and again.... Self induced illnesses. I am currently getting over a cold, sinus infection, chest infection and an accumulated gum problem. hhhmm, wonder what shes been up to??? Theres no telling I have been naughty and am now paying the consequences for my actions. Bad as they are - its all bad.

Chest infections are terrible, and I tell you I haven't had a real one up until now. Terrible and disgusting. I dont wish it on anyone really.

Time to actually face up to my actions, which I have been putting off really admitting but am doing it now.......

I have been smoking again. Not a good choice but a choice I am now paying for quite literally. All the above is all from it and now I have made the decision to kick it in the arse and get over the fun and negligence and repair myself.
YES I am going to be doing this, my body has spoken and all is just starting to wind down here with kids and hubby getting a job. Trying times are ahead of me with more social events planned but with my determination and my lovely buddies, I think I may have a chance to repair my damage and gain my self esteem back to being a health me.

I'm Back

2009-01-30T18:13:00.002+11:00

Finally back and now everything is finally coming to fruition.

Where to start??? 2009 is MASSIVE for me. So many things are happening in my life right now since we moved and it just feels so weird to have everything happening all at once and to boot it happens to be all positive stuff. I feel like my life has just begun again. Now I still have to get over the shock of everything and start getting organised to focus on me and my body sculpting and start generating some cash flow in our lives. So here it is these are the big things happening in our life.

We moved to Mullaway and were pleasantly surprised at the house we are in, it is massive, I could play a game of footy in it if it didn't have fans. My boys have settled in well with the move, and the amount of kids around here is weird. We are the halfway house that all the kids come to and hang with us and the boys. Babysitters galore, so now a social life may be in sight!!! LOL. All our boys have settled in well with schools and are ecstatic about the location of the beach, only 5 mins down the road, and not to mention 2 of them to choose from. I am quite happy that the beach is only around the corner too, as now I have my own personal exercise arena to hang out in. And I didn't think that I would feel so stuffed being in the ocean but yep, sore all over specially with muscles I didn't think I could work. I thoroughly enjoy the boogy board and am getting used to catching a wave or 4.

I am working on a tan not that my arms need it of course but the Lilly white legs need some sun. I feel so comfortable here, and am meeting so many people it is a little overwhelming going from hermit to socialite.

I have discovered that my life was going too fast in Canberra and how society had a real impact of my day to day life. Being here I am more relaxed and comfortable. Days go by but they aren't going too fast, I have time to do things. Well not that I have done an awful lot but it sounds good anyway. I am becoming a new me, like a dragonfly, the change is amazing.

Another big thing is that hubby an I finally found his first son Ashley who is now nearly 14. We looked for him for so many years to no avail. OMG, I have a step son. Now we are in the process of arranging access and a day where we can meet him. He is extremely excited to know that he has a real Dad is overly excited to meet us all too. So this is a really BIG change for us as a family. Our kids are very eager to meet him and chuffed they have a big brother. So time will tell how and when it all pans out and what sort of relationship we are going to have with him and his family and of course what he means in ours.

Finally, I am not sure if I told you ladies, cant remember, but with my hubby and his compensation claim for his depression/breakdown?? This has been an ongoing saga for the past 2 years and today it was a finalisation. He old work has accepted liability and are going to give him the payout we have been fighting for what seems an eternity. YAY another door to the past resolved and closed. So hopefully we have that completely finalised in the next 3 weeks. All the big stuff has been done, now just the working out of the $$.

So this move has really meant a lot for me and has been a dream come true, we were meant to move and to here was where it was to happen. Now i have tingles up and down my arms, its very auspicious.

So that is the big changes in my life. Now I can focus on getting back to the 19year in the photo above and become ME.

Hope you have enjoyed my blog entry, it is long and no photos yet, I still havent taken any of the house or the area, and neither of myself, but I will, I will make that my goal for the week.

Here's to a BIG, BETTER and more EXCITING new year girls.

Rach

Going into Week 9

2008-12-23T08:29:00.003+11:00

Well off the wagon on the wagon off the wagon and stayed off. Story of my life. This is the busiest time of the year I have had so far and I must say what a journey it has been. I have travelled so much this year and my ability to hold myself has been quite SHIT. No real motivation or dedication to preparing myself for moments where I was going to get caught out. And what do I feel right now. FAILURE...... Yes I allowed myself to fail, as I have this repeated pattern that I have not quite discovered how to break. I have put on some cms and a few hundred grams which is ok but I tell you what it FEELS HORRIBLE. I really do feel unhealthy. Amazing at just a little amount can make you feel so disgusting. Anyway, not going to pound myself too much but work on the day after xmas to put some real big whammies back and then after new years completly dedicate myself to the last few weeks of the program.

Week 5 Stats

2008-11-29T10:15:00.002+11:00

Great week this week on the weight in.

Only losses on the body with tape is the hips - loss 4cm

Weight - 82.85

Body Fat - 1.7% loss

Muscle - gain - 0.6%

2008-11-28T10:29:00.002+11:00

Well its Friday and technically it is the end of week 5. Wow, in 5 weeks I have done Jack shit. I haven't been at the gym consistently, and haven't kept my cardio up consistently either and well the food area went out the door.

I think maybe I have pressured myself too much. Set a goal and it was too much and my expectancy levels were too high and my body just wanted to reject right there. I have had something wrong with me throughout my IBO programs and now I have had a gut full. Time to work at it with no real hammer and tongue goals to speak of. Yes I want to be healthy, and yes I have been all caught up in the scales, again. I am now just going to focus on my cms and body fat %. It is the only way I think I am going to go somewhere and be where I want to be. Now time to fix up the tickers to reflect these.

I have discovered Infrared Saunas. Aaaahhhh they are so relaxing. Suppose to help with the weight loss too. I am defiantly using it for detoxification of my body. Fingers crossed I have some good results over a period of time. I so want one now in my house. Hhhmm, another wish list item I suppose. I am going for my second session today and am really looking forward to relaxing and maybe even try and meditate some. Something I know I should be doing regularly. I have noticed a massive difference in my face since Wednesday which is promising and I think I dropped a little weight too. Not getting excited but am going to feel a change and feel more optimistic about my outlook I think.

Well next weekend, arrggh the halfway mark. Photo time. I know there is a difference from my last ones and am a little keen to pick at myself and see where I have lost it and where it is taking some time for leave me. I am really not happy bout loosing my boobs though. I think I may have to try an Acup on to see if that fits better. My current bra feels a little big and gapes at the top part of the cleavage gap. Oh that is not a really good thing. I have always been happy with a B cup. Oh well, all part of the process isnt it??

So this was my up to date for the week as it has been so long since I posted. Funny how when you go off track you tend to forget or avoid the places that can pick you up.

Till later with my weekly stats

Week 4 Stats

2008-11-23T09:01:00.004+11:00

Well my mixed bag of goodies again. It is monthly time so I am assuming this has something to do with it and having a cold doesnt help either.

I have some good cm changes which is what I should be most happy about.

Weight - 84.85 which is a big gain from last week and the week before. Eeeekkkkkk Am I ever going to crack the 80kg mark.

Chest - 1cm gain
Arms - 1cm each down
Wasit- 1cm loss
Thighs - same
Calves - same
Hips - 4cm loss
Above Knees - same
Biggest bit - 2 cm loss

Body Fat - 0.9% gain
Muscle - gain - 0.2% loss

So a little up and down.

My Toxic Body

2008-11-21T18:31:00.003+11:00

Well I am so not sure what is happening with my body. I have not been completely 100% since the beginning of my second program. I got over my tonsillitis and now I am coming down with a cold or something. I dont feel flash, well havent all week but I have perserved through my workouts. I sort of feel like I have hayfever but a sinus head cold. I have a croaky voice. And now I am feeling a little tired, well have done most of today. Not much of an appetite either.

The weather here is absolutly shocking. My body really isnt coping with it. One day hot, the next cold. So not very exciting, actually it is really making me cranky, that the weather is so erratic and my body isnt dealing with it very well. I havent had this problem in the past and I am seriously thinking my body must have soooooo many toxins in it for it to be reacting this way. I know I am slowly loosing the weight but the ratio to colds/illnesses to actually being able to do the program 100% is shit.

So now I am searching for information on the net that may help me figure out what is going on. I am narrowing it down to my body having too many toxins and I am not releasing them enough or properly or I just need to do more or something else to help me release them. So what have I found???? Infared Sauna treatments. Could just be my ticket to getting better. A little bit of assistance to kick the body into gear. Still researching but 3 sights have recommended it so far. So I may look into it. Apparently it is also really good for Fybromilalgia too.

Anyway so now I am going to go and see what more info I can find.

Kerry have a fantastic holiday.

The Women Who Says It All

2008-11-18T11:57:00.003+11:00

Well now you all have to have a look at this, it is only 3 minutes long but OMG she ROCKS..... Speaking my language.

You need to listen to it twice to get it all in. Maybe three and you may know it all. LOL

Measurements - What the???

2008-11-16T07:51:00.007+11:00

Well I just posted my results and thought I best add the "biggest" part of me to the list. I had a realisation this morning about it because, I bought a size 16 short jumpsuit thing a couple of weeks ago and thought I had ALL the measurements correct. Low and behold, when the garment arrived, well it didnt bloody fit me did it. Too tight around the "hip" area. Such a disappointment, because when I do get my bloody hips section to be as small as the measurements, the whole top end of it is going to be far too big. It already flops around on the top half. So depressing actually and I think this is where I catch myself in a jam because of the measurements sizing guides. They really shouldnt advertise it like that, they should change the wording and put "bottom or butt" measurements. It really isnt your hips, well actually no where near them. So here are the Undercover Wear measurement guides. I so fit into a 12 - 14 catagory but so dont too. That "Hip" area seems to be the thorn in my side. Going by these measurements, my hips are in the 16 - 18 catagory. Aaarrghh I really feel that is such a disappointment. I didnt take this measurement in the beginning but I should have, it will be my guide to really loosing weight. I think more so than the top half of my hips where I do measure because that is affected mainly by my jelly belly size and floppness.

It really isnt any wonder why I go and try clothes on and they dont fit or I struggle to get into a 14 in some styles and others really struggle to get into 16's. I know this should make me more determined to try harder but it really isnt very motivating for me at the moment. I know I have a big arse and it is going to be harder than ever to get rid of it. I so need a trainer following me around 24/7 just to make sure I dont stuff shit in my mouth that doesnt belong. I am so weak and really dont understand my way of thinking at times. Sometimes I just go into auto pilot and realise what I am doing at the last minute. *smack*.

Anyway enough of being morbid again - time to get ready for my big day. My sister wants me to go and book in for a tattoo with her. We have been in discussion for some time about tatts and dragonflies. She didnt want to do it just at that moment 12 months ago but she is going through a defying stage I think. Trying to fall pregnant for the last 12 months with a miscarriage in there. Still cant seem to fall pregnant. Every month when the test strip shows negative or she has a monthly period, she goes and gets something done. Hence my eyebrow piercing too. She has has both her trangiers done ( triangle cartlidge in your ear) and now she wants a tatt. Timing is imperative and well yeah a big push to get booked in fairly soon I suppose. So now I will finally get the dragonflies on my hand area. Ohh soo exciting but nerving too. Anyway will keep you posted.

Have a great week ladies.

Week 3 Stats

2008-11-16T07:41:00.006+11:00

Well I am so aware of my issues now with food and the like. 3 weeks of half hearted conditioning has really made me aware of what I can eat and cant eat. Sugar, why is it so DANGEROUS to our bodies. The sweet sugar I am talking about, the one that sabotages our efforts everytime.

My stats are a mix this week, up and down.

Weight - gain 200g
Chest - 1 cm loss
Arms - same
Wasit- same
Thighs - 3cm loss combined
Calves - same
Hips - gain 3 cm (jelly belly coming back)
Above Knees - same
Biggest bit - 117cm

Body Fat - 1.1% loss
Muscle - gain - 0.4%

I have now also incorporated another measurement - the biggest part of my pear..... The part that they say in measurement mags like Undercover Wear. Hips - the biggest part which incorporate your butt.

Till next week

Mega Mother Super Bitch & Stressed Wife

2008-11-12T17:55:00.006+11:00

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1058797

Well I finally blew my stack today, and still going. God I feel like exploding big time. Not sure what my problem is, I am just so tired all the time and my patience level is sooooo thin. The kids only have to look at me wrong and I am jumping down their throat. I am thinking it is a few things. Monthly time nearly here, well every 2 or 3 cycles I become this horrible monster, anyone only has to say boo and I am clawing at them. Or I am lacking in iron... I havent been taking iron tablets because of the amount of "other" stuff I have been taking such as glucosamine, antibiotics, hayfever tabs, cold tabs and the occasional multi vitamin. Arrgghhh, not all at the same time but spread out over a day because I dont want to cocktail myself, god knows what will happen then. Since being sick last week I stopped taking the Metaburn and well now I am flat. The last 2 days I have had to have afternoon sleeps to keep up with everything and today I ended up having 2 nanna naps on the couch. Crikey, that is so NOT me. Anyway I have taken an iron tablet this afternoon and had a late lunch (too busy sleeping) so it has made me feel a bit better and more refreshed, so will monitor myself over the next couple of days I think and if no improvment I will go and see the doctor.

When I have an explotion, crikey I reckon the other street can hear me. My neighbours must think I am a super bitch of a mother. Where did I go wrong??? I mean you think you are doing the right thing bringing your children up with respect, manners and a sense of respect. Mine got stuffed up somewhere along the way. I know alot of it comes from my husband and his "med problem" for 18 months and the constant hounding (excessive yelling and down putting to the kids) to mould a perfect child, but hay, my kids are not angels and neither do they give a rats about what happens in the house as a whole. So innocent but so defiant and ignorant. Arrgghhh, parenting is so not an easy task.

You know the one thing I wish for is a quiet home with content and happy children. My house is far from being that and far beyond it happening. I mean I can easily achieve it on my own, but it is truely hard to make someone else cooperate and make the changes too. Yes meaning my hubby. I dont think he is capable of not being verbal. Dont get me wrong, he does wonderful stuff with the kids and plays with them but has no idea on how to instil "good" stuff in them. He gets easily offended when they dont listen to him, and shit, an 8,6 & 4 year old dont have big attention spanes and any wonder they dont listen when the drill sargent is wafting on and on making a simple request into a documentary of blah blah blah. I know he means well but my kids are going to be the most pompous shit heads when they get older and they are going to come off as arseholes I am sure. Lazy bastards at that too. You know I really am having one of those moments and I am so glad I have a blog to blurt it out to aswell. It is better than writing it physically in a diary.

Anyway back to a happy household, I WISH for my kids to be more in tune with their surroundings, and to be able to enjoy a childhood like a child should. I also wish they had a bit of compassion about them and wanted to "help" out a bit. I dont mean being my sadies but it would be nice to see my kids clean their rooms without prompting or pick up a toy when asked the first time instead of 10 times. Everyone keeps telling me I have the best behaved kids, but shit if only they saw them in their own surroundings, I am sure they wouldnt think that at all. I just want to have a PERFECT house, I want it to be cleaner than it is, and more often cleaner too. Hhhmm, if I could afford it, I would get a cleaner to do it for me. That is definatly on the wish list.

Well now I have wafted and wafted now I am feeling a little bit of inspiration to change my current circumstances. Time to get down to the affirmations I think.

Tootles to my chewed off ear friends, another big insight into the life and trials of me and mine....

:-)

Down and Out Week 2

2008-11-10T09:56:00.006+11:00

Arrgghh, I have had the dreaded horrible tonsillitus. Really bad.... Week 1 and 2 have not seen a very eventful start to journey 2.

I really thought I was getting the flu, with the body aches and pains, and the sore throat was just becoming an annoyance, one easily ignored to a point. I have naturally big tonsils and unfortunatly dont have tonsillitus often enough to warrent having them out, so have to deal with the pain of itchy niggling half hearted tonsillitus around 4 times a year. But on the odd ocassion, I will get a full dose that knocks me for a 6 and some. Flat out on the back, not able to move or do a hell of a lot but moan and groan. So my end of week 2 consisted of complaining about my body being sore and not feeling too good to OMG I have a really bad case of tonsillitus - I need antibiotics - NOW.

Anyway I think this may be a lash for the "binge" drinking I did on last Saturday and Tuesday. Well deserved punishment I must say. Has now made me think harder about it. Actually reading a post on our 28/7 girl files, Petah from the Sunny Coast made comment to getting sick after a night out so to speak. I think it has some real meaning to it actually. I have got sinus infections and mild colds from the few mishaps I did have with the socialiting and I can relate it all back to that. I cant afford to let myself get like this at all. So now I make a pact with myself to take it easy and to acknowledge that it does happen everytime.

Here is a clipping from Blackmores about tonsillitis.

The tonsils are partially responsible for protecting us from foreign matter in our bodies. They exert their influence most strongly in the childhood years, taking in any foreign material that threatens the body. This also leaves them highly vulnerable to infection during this period of life, and the resulting condition is called tonsillitis.

Your body I think gets so used to being on the program, eating "clean" that when we go and stick chemical infused food and drink, our body rejects it and causes us to go through that phase. I am not certain and 100% on the physics of it all but am telling mysefl that is what happens, it makes me feel better and more apt to saying NO and NO.

So now I have taken the first step to fixing it and feel better for it. My hubbies bosses wife Sabine (social friend) asked me yesterday if I was ready for the christmas party in a couple of weeks, and if I had sitters for my kids. I said no not yet, but I am not going to be binge drinking at all!!!! She made comment to it being "paid for". I said no I am not I cant afford to drink, I will never get to my goal weight if I binge drink and eat all the time. She said oh okay. Is there any dietry food that you need for the night??? Hell yeah, I said yes I cant eat red meat, only white or fish and it has to be grilled, and salad or veges, steamed and no oil. So there goes, I am going to have my first meal eating out, cooked to my requirements. YAY. And to boot, I have nominated myself as designated driver to 7 people, so now I cant drink too much. 1 glass and thats it. That really felt good to be so assertive. So fingers crossed the night works out well.

So thats enough from me regarding my illnesses, just note sometimes we self inflict them without knowing......

Week 2 Stats

2008-11-10T09:52:00.002+11:00

Here is my week 2 stats. Not the best but okay considering the week I have had.

Weight - No change
Body Fat - down 0.5%
Muscle - up by 0.3%
Thighs - down 0.5cm

All other areas are still the same.

Hot Bods

2008-11-06T16:36:00.006+11:00

Well eye candy extrodinaire. I am posting some HOT blokes on my blog and in random order. I am starting a collection to entertain my blog followers. Yes you 2!!!!! No particular order, and I am just going to add them when I feel I need some muscle eye goggling.. Oh god that six pack is delish. You know I really think I like that look. It is sooo inviting!!!!! Nice...

TOO SEXY...................

Week 2 - Thursday

2008-11-06T10:25:00.003+11:00

Well this week has been somewhat of a social outing. Girls night out on Saturday and Melbourne Cup and a ladies night in tonight with Undercover Wear. OMG, I have certainly done some binge eating and drinking. Very horrible thinking about it because it just isnt going to cut it.... Tonight I am going to be an angel and have my dinner before everyone arrives and have some veges cut up and maybe some tzaki dip for me to nibble on.

This week I have been complacent needless to say and have managed to get 1 good workout in this week so far. I have done some cardio too but not as much as what I should be doing. I think my calves are caining really bad from something. It is right along the side of the shin bone that really hurts. I am cramping up in there pretty bad and it makes walking very hard and irritating. I dont think it is shin splints because I know that pain, but I could be wrong. I have been sprinting on the treadmill. Actually come to think about it I think when I first started this program way back in the beginning I had the same problem. Hhhm maybe too much too soon, who knows. I will take it easy and do the bike not the eliptical or tready for the rest of the week.

Diet is starting to pick up and the more I read my plan the more I realise what I am doing wrong. Actually I was reading a few posts on the forum and noted some of them were talking about how hard it is to cut out carbs of an afternoon/evening. DOH realisation, my plan says the same thing. I am very inefficient at reading my plan properly one would think. No carbs after meal 3. Crikey, that is going to be a mission for me I must say. But we will see how that all pans out next week when I follow my plan to a tee. I am already thinking of all the food I have to do up for next weeks eating.

Well this post is really a letter to myself, so that I can look back in a couple of months and say, gee you really were a procrastinator.....

Time to head down bum up and actually do something instead of dreaming about it. I dont think I am going to get my weekly goals this week due to my inconsitencies but I will still try:

loose more grams than last week at least 500g to be accountable
loose a cm or something on the areas I didnt last week

I am now planning week 3 goals and am pretty much going to stick by them. Till the next post.

Week 1 - Day 4

2008-10-30T14:57:00.007+11:00

Well day 4 already. WOW, time goes past so quickly. I really feel a little naughty. It is going to take a bit of time to get used to being on a personalised program I think. Knowing I have to document my food intake for a 3 day block with EVERYTHING is super hard. What I have frozen I need to remember what I put in it. I must admit I have been pretty good, and have fallen at the "critical" time for me, which is afternoons. Nothing major but enough to make me cranky at myself.

My feedback coach is Michelle, wow, I feel I have alot to be accountable for with this plan. Michelle seems to be sooo athletic, lean and buff. Serious looking too. I am a little nervous. Acutally if she was in my gym and my trainer I imagine her to be a whip cracker!!! GO GO GO and dont stop sort of women. Which for me is great, I need the *slap* because I do tend to get lazy. Anyway I am sure she really isnt like that, its just a photo can say a thousand things....

So do you think I actually read my plan more than once???? YES I did, but you wouldnt think so from todays account. I thought I was doing the right thing cardio wise and did the MASSIVE session as on the plan and get home to find I didnt read it properly and I wasnt suppose to do it till the start of week 3. DOH. Yeah and with the DOMS from yesterday, well lets just say I am going to pay for it all weekend, unless some extensive stretching helps. Okay want to know what I did???? Here it is:

Week 1 - Day 2 - Journey 2

2008-10-28T21:39:00.006+11:00

My first week back has started off okay but could have been better. I had my stiches out on Monday and now have to wait a little for the "gap" to heal up properly. I am super frightened that I am going to split my wound doing work. So my first week back has been rather complacent and with that comes lazy eating. I am drinking heaps of water and my face is starting to break out again and the temptation for sugar and extra food has been hard to hold back. Crap only 2 days in and already stuffing myself around.

Why does the body go into lazy mode when it knows you cant fully exert yourself because of a problem or physical inability???? This is a big question for me. I havent even gone to the gym, I think because I will get the urge to do something other than cardio. God that really sucks.

Tomorrow I am definatly GOING to the gym. I need to do something and I need to do it soon before I pack on more weight. I am feeling a little pudgy becasue its been weeks off and none working out. My intention is to do a leg workout tomorrow, and I may chuck in a few of the butt exercises from the mag too. My new program doesnt have any exertive leg exercises due to my weak knees, but I think I am going to gradually train them back. I think that what the ladies at IBO are aiming for too. I think they are giving me 2 weeks to see how I go and then increase my leg stuff.

Well that is all for the posting on the beginning of program 2 so fingers crossed I stick it out and do ALL that I am suppose to do.

2008-10-27T16:59:00.009+11:00

Well I bought this months Oxygen magazine. OMG. I finally chose a magazine with segments I LIKE alot. Butts and thighs. They were soo great I had to scan them in and put them on my blog. I am so going to get an arse like this. Oh and the legs too. I really like this look/style. This is what I tried to achieve when I was 17. The exercises in it are equally just important and I am really looking forward to NOT walking after doing them too.

Very keen to walk proudly with a arse to die for. I would be so proud to get any of these. Hhhmm now that is my big determination. I would love to just get in a pair of those hot pants and feel comfortable being in them. Some how I think I would feel like I was wearing my pjs or something.

Now this one looks extremly tight and the thighs well they look very muscled. This is my new profound shape that I want. I am now affirming this for myself. Lots of leg work is ahead of me. Youch.

These other 2 pics are nice too, I like the semi definition in those legs. Arrghh I need some!!!!!!!!!! A little more in the muscle tone would be nice. But I have to start somewhere dont I. I reckon I am going to set myself a goal, that by the end of my next program I want to be like this. I want to be cut and HOT.

So in saying that I am now affirming a time frame. By March 09 I want to be buff. I want to be photogenic again, being happy snappy with others taking the photos instead of me being the clicker or the runner. I am so going to get my hot shots done. As soon as I find the pic I will post it.

Well thats it for this blog, I think I have covered some goals I would like to achieve, so off to more affirming. Oh by the way, this link is very usful if you need to check on query you are unsure of. http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/pool/affirmation-cards.htm

Dreams - Aspirations

2008-10-25T12:46:00.021+11:00

Well here are some dresses that I really like. Figuring that I may look okay in one for the wedding on the 20th December. Oh so close to Christmas. I am thinking if I could get a nice enough dress I can wear it again and again. So many to choose from and well at the moment I was thinking of just ideas. I have tried to estimate what I might loose if I stick to the plan strictly and am very dubious of myself. Not the way to go but I am getting a little nervous that I may slip off the rails too many times and bury my head in the sand like the usual pattern.

You know my Aunty did once say to me, that I was soo much like her and that I should just learn to live with my body, its genetic. Stuff that for a joke. My genetics may play a role in the shape but the size, thats UP TO ME.... Hhhmm I have had too much spare time on my hands to think about things like this. I am going to make a difference and even if it is only another 5 kgs I loose, at least I have achieved a goal of passing under 80kgs. Well now that I am talking about it I have ideas for my other posts. Best go draft them before I forget.

Oh, forgot, the picture below is a snap shot of one pose I would love to do. Hubby likes this one. Will have to work on getting a wig I think. My hair was that long last year before I cut it all of in November. Funny how you miss things when your adamant about getting rid of them. Swore to myself I love short hair and never will go back to long hair. Hhhm, maybe I may have changed my mind AGAIN!!!...... We'll see. Bye

Final Photos

2008-10-24T22:17:00.019+11:00

This is Week 1 - Week 12. Not so much in the last 2 but a possible weight gain. Not sure if it is the way I was standing too. Oh still so much to go. But I suppose I need to look at these all the time because if I dont I wont keep going.

I finally get my stiches out on Monday 27th, fingers crossed I can start some light weights. I am really feeling it not doing anything, and knowing that I cant do all that much. Possibly procrastinating again, but non the less still very hard to get motivated to do something, knowing I cant do other things.

Only 57 days or something to my cousins wedding and now I am more keen to loose the extra kilos to get into a really nice cocktail dress or something. Never worn one before but maybe I may feel a little more sexy and daring to go and buy one.

Cant figure out how to post pictures properly so wont post the dresses on this one. Still trying to figure it out. I am thinking that this template isnt soo user friendly after all. So I wont post anymore pictures to this post as it just goes up the top with the other ones. Might look at a new template I think.

Tootles

Quiches - Freezer Safe

2008-10-22T11:49:00.007+11:00

Well I am now opening a tab on my blog dedicated just to recipes and ideas for recipes, some from Sues recipes or my own that I have adjusted to my liking and abreviated for the program.

The below quiche recipe is done with chicken but can be subsituted with tuna or turkey, or just vegetarian. Your imagination is your only limit!!!

Quiches
2 cups of egg whites
250g spinach
125g shredded cooked chicken
1/2 onion finely chopped
3 mushrooms finely chopped
kalmata olives sliced (as many as you want in there)
2 garlic cloves
1 little chillie for bite chopped up well
chives
parsley
pepper
grated cheese enough just to sprinkle on the top of the quiches

Mix all together (looks really GREEN and gooey). And place in either big or the miny muffin trays depending on your needs either snack or meal and bake until they have risen and the cheese has melted and browned up a little.

These are also suitable for freezing

Friday - Weekend Time

2008-10-17T16:33:00.003+11:00

Well the other day I was talking about how fast time goes when you have an agenda, well how slow does it go when your incapacitated??? Finally had the horrible lump removed from my back today. Ouch. Not a nice feeling and I am definatly sure I wont be sleeping on my back at all. Not sure how many stiches I have but it will take a bit to heal I am sure, being it is in a really terrible spot. No bending over, no stretching or leaning. To boot no upper half exercises for at least a week and a half. One good thing, damn shame (NOT), I wont be able to do too much in the way of domestic duties.

So the journey to Personal Power for me still continues. Wow learning a fair bit about neuro-associative conditioning (NAC for short). What a mouthful. Hay I am hoping that maybe this might be my ticket out of my anxiety/panic disorder condition for flying and anticipation of things happening. NAC what is it you say??? Well here is a paragraph from a web site Tony Robbins related;

Neuro-Associative Conditioning focuses on the root cause of all our actions and behaviours, our associations, and more particularly the associations in our minds, bodies and emotions to the driving force in all our behaviours. This driving force is the two twin pillars of pain and pleasure and the associations of pain and pleasure in our nervous systems to our actions and behaviours.

Fingers crossed I can utilise what I learn over the next couple of weeks and test it on my condition. Arr there is hope yet. Well after 4 straight days of listening to the CD's I think I am finally getting excited about starting to implement the old/new me. I think I can certainly make some big changes to my eating and associate new behaviours to pain and if I dont do it. One thing I found extremly interesting as I am sure alot of women will also relate to is, the reason we fail to exercise is because we associate alot of "pain" to go with it. Eg. It is painful to do it or to take that hour or so out to do it, and the "pleasure" we get from it is that we get to sit and do what our bodies have accustomed to. I find after sitting and writing out the exercises off the CD that I am a big culprit to doing it. Now I just need to change that thinking pattern to recognise "pleasure" to do it and "pain" if I dont. So simple a theory!!!!!!!!

So have you had a good exercise on Neuro stuff??? Well on a note of the program, I thought I best delve and do my measurements and see what damage I have done being on constant "holiday" mode. Thankfully, I havent done too much in the way of my measurements. Not game to do the scales yet.

Bust - up by 0.5cm
Waist - up by 2cm
Hips - up by 2cm

All other areas are the same as my last post on the forum. So now I havent shit myself too much with the results now I am going to be organising my food for the next week or 2. Also need to get that form through with details for the next program. Back in the groove baby.

Have a great time up at the nationals Kerry - wish I could be there too, if it wasnt for a eeerrr on flying I would certainly be there.

Bye 4 now
Rach

2008-10-15T16:01:00.003+11:00

I have now discovered a personal life coach in the form of CD mentoring. Anthony Robbins. I have had his disks sitting in the box unopened for now 2 years. What a time to open them. In the time I need it the most in my life and now I have added another goal to my new journey to listen to one everyday and complete his exercises in it. Any wonder he is sooooo rich and the methods are so simple. Amazing how we allow ourselves to break and not finish. I have decided to keep myself on a high and complete what I started and have engaged the extra assistance through the CD's.

How many of us sit and procrastinate all the time??? I do, and now I really am aware of how often I do it and how I allow my mind to roll it over me. Once we set ourselves a goal and start to act on it, stay on the high for a while and then 90% of the time slide right back off it. I am a big culprit of it and having it in my ears has been a big "whack" upside the ear. He talks about why we do these things and how we associate most of what we do with Pain and Pleasure. Eg: We decide to diet and exercise and we go strong for some time and fall off and revert to old habits. Why?? Because we associate pain and pleasure with it. The pain of having to take time to do and the pain of not being able to eat the usual foods, and the pleasure to sit and watch tv or something and the pleasure of eating the usual foods (chocolate etc). Oh I so need to retrain my brain to think oppositely. The pain I need to revert is if you dont do it and you dont stop eating is going to cause me more pain, and my pleasure would be actually doing it and eating healthy foods and becoming a HOT CHOOK as my youngest calls sexy women.

At the beginning of the Day 2 CD he asks, have you done your exercise, have you done your weights or had the right food etc. Oh I really felt guilty. No I hadnt but I did have the CD wake me up instead of the blarring alarm. I then made my eyes stay awake and listen to the whole CD and then progressed to put another CD in the player when I got up and had it going while I was getting the kids ready. I even had enough time to burn the CD set to my MP3 player to listen to whilst I am getting active. I decided I was going to walk my youngest to Preschool with the dog and take myself on a much deserved walk. I dedicated my time to intently listening to his CD and got some much needed boost to be proactive in my life. I still havent done the exercise at the end but will when I can this evening.

For any that read my blog and need further boosting I highly recommend listening to them, they are really good and with your current mindset just afirm what your doing and give the extra boost to keep going.

Well my philosophic day ends with kids swimming lessons. Hhm lucky I can listen to the MP3 whilst they create havoc with the teachers. Such a long 30mins doing swimming lessons, my heart goes giddy up everytime. My kids are dare devils and no fear, arrghghhh making me grey before I need to be.

Hope you all had a great day and have an even better tomorrow. I am getting the lump out of my back tomorrow so no weight training for me for a while, just lots of cardio.

Tootley pip Ladies
Rachael ;-)

2008-10-14T15:41:00.002+11:00

Today I have been contemplating time. How fast does it go when you need to do something!! So much to do and very little time to do it in. I have been on a little low this last couple of weeks with being sick etc, and now in week 12 WOW, its nearly a block gone and still on the borderline sick. Oh I am so missing the gym.

I have often wondered how I managed to get to where I am and how the opportunities have arisen to assist me on my way. My husband suffered a nervous/mental breakdown (depression) nearly 2 years ago and this hit me and the family pretty hard. I had to maintain our life, our kids and manage a mortgage as well as keep my husband from flipping out all in a days breathe. It makes me realise as a women/mother how we cope with adverse things in our lives. I struggled to maintian my weight for some time and having to drop my own self wants and needs to be supermum was a very hard challenge to keep up. But the light at the end of the tunnel appeared for me and things have been on a better note since November 07. I am not saying it has been a bed of roses but now I finally feel that I have found my calling and that is rediscovering myself and my abilities. So many people always said to me "Its what you are like on the inside that matters". To some extent I find that true but when you have an obession to being fit and healthy, it mattered to me that my body exterior was also good looking. I put some much pressure on myself to become skinny and tried all the fad diets and shakes to get there. But none the less as many women know, you cant do it that way. I think since January I packed on nearly 6 kgs in a matter of months. Arrgghh so gross really. Since starting the IBO program I have nearly lost that 6kgs and a heap of cms, but still have sooo far to go.

My new journey with IBO will be starting again from the 27th Oct so I am definatly going to be rearranging my life and time a little more to accomodate my program and my new working style. Fingers crossed working my workouts in the gym of an evening I may be in a better position to burn more than a morning session. Still in contemplation with it but I need to give it a go and see how i fair with it. Oh am a little nervous about it as ALL the meatheads hang out of an evening and I will have to share. Very daunting but nothing like jumping in feet first.

Well hears to good intentions for a better new year in the making.

Week 12 - Final Week - Journey number 1

2008-10-13T11:30:00.003+11:00

Well holidays are now over and time to get back into routine. I would like to post a thanks to all the wonderful people out there that have made reading posts a joy.

I have had such a weird and all over the shop 12 weeks. I have been hit with colds, sinus infections, teeth issues and just plain old "the blues". And now that I am nearly finished up I have another sinus infection and need to go and have some slicing and dicing on my back to get a lump (cist) removed. Timing is such a wonderful thing. I can certainly say that it has given me more determination and drive to keep going though. My body is changing in wonderful ways and I really see where the old me is coming in and out all the time. Mentally I need to change my thought patterns and start believing in myself because I can do this. I slide fairly quickly and allow my hands to put horrible bad foods into my mouth.

Mental note to self - I must be STRONGER!!!!

Over the last 2 weeks I have had the school holidays. Oh such a time. I remember loving them as a kid but as a parent, hhhmm now I am not so fond of them I must say. I took my children on a real holiday this time. We visited the Gold Coast and had a fantastic time. I did eat wrongly and also didnt manage to get in the gym as planned but did try to make it up by swimming laps everyday. The pool in the resort was freezing but with kids, I had to get in, cold and all. So I managed a few laps here and there.

I must better prepare myself next time. I left my protien bars at home and the box of shapes really were inviting. I did manage to take some frozen food with us and tried my best to keep them frozen but the long trip in a car didnt exactly keep it completly frozen so I lost most of it on the unpacking. So my first holiday trip within my program was an interesting feat.

Mental note 2 - Be more prepared whilst holidaying on the program - things can go slippery if your not careful. Be STRONG

I have now finally made my blog a little more interesting to the eye and am more excited about being on it lots more. Now I must find all those INSPIRATIONAL ladies who I need to keep close at hand to keep my levels of enthusiasm up in times when I need it most. Keep safe and happy everyone.

Week 9 - Monday 22nd Sept

2008-09-22T17:36:00.002+10:00

Hi there,

Well am now over my cold and now have a tooth problem. Arrghh have to have it removed on Wednesday. Oh sooo many challenges put forward for me on this 12 week journey. Only I hope to make me stronger and more determined to finish and follow through with another 12 weeks. I am thinking of going on the personalised program next with a more challenging gym workout. I have done well with my pre done program but I think it could be worked better to my advantage.

Weighed in on Sunday and have lost a further 1.6 kgs. So now a total loss of 5.5kg give or take a bit either side. So glad. I am actually back to the weight I was in early January 08 this year, so now I have to chew chew chew into the long stored fat I have gained over the duration of the past 9 years. Oh such a long time when I think about it.

Did my first gym workout in a week and a half. It did feel really good, but I was a little exhuasted afterwards. Wasnt planning on doing cardio after but did anyway. Am feeling much better for it now I did it. So now I have a new little challenge for myself. Only a week and a half till I go on holidays and now just need to shed a little bit more to feel comfortable in the swim shorts. They fit but a little tight on my hinny for my liking. Would like to work on getting a nice flatter tummy to boot too.

Enough for the day for me, so will post again when I remember, hopefully before my tooth extration on Wednesday.

Bye for now
Rachael

Week 8 - Monday

2008-09-15T17:09:00.002+10:00

Well I have had a big weekend. Took the kids to Sydney to Taronga Zoo. WOW we didnt even get to see half of it. Soooo big.

I didnt get much of a chance on Friday to prepare myself and pack appropriate foods for ME. I ended up being bad and had a very over active weekend with fatty foods and inappropriate stuff. I did blow the whole program in a weekend I must say. But on the other hand I may have compensated some what with the amount of walking I did especially at the Zoo. The majority of the zoo is on the hill so I spent alot of time walking up it with a 23kg kid in a pram.

Today being day 1 of week 8, hasnt gone according to plan either. I have been struck down with a sinus cold with a touch of hayfever mixed in it. YUKKY. I so dont like being sick. So to boot my horrible weekend of foods I cannot work hard to get it off because I am down and out sick. Oh I really worry that I may have stuffed my chances of loosing LOTS before my 12 weeks is up. I am sure there are lots of people out there that have had the same sort of issues I have had. I am trying not to let it affect me too much and put me down in the dumps. I am trying to stay positive ALL THE WAY.

Anyway once the feeling of crappiness goes I am certainly going to get into it more and more and more. i am going to do my cardio and try and get up early to do it too.

So much going on in my life at the moment and I am trying to stay focussed and do it all at once. I really need to push myself to do it all as this is where I would ordinally fail and slide and not do anything. Hubby and I are going to be moving soon up to the warmer weather, and it looks as if the move may come sooner rather than later. Possibly just after I finish my 12 weeks. What a big move. Arrgghh so much to do and so much to think about too. Removalists, packing, real estates and jobs. Not to mention, getting kids in schools. Unfortunatly the schooling system in the ACT is far different from NSW and I have to accomodate that too. My youngest may very well have to have some home schooling until next year from me. Eeeekk. So not too keen on that one.

Well I have rambled for a while now so I am going to go and do some dinner. Till next post in tootle pip.

Rachael

Program 1 - Day 43

2008-09-08T20:44:00.013+10:00

Hi there, Well a couple of before photos taken about July 21 2008.

Well it has been some weeks since I have posted anything. I will endeavour to document my journey from here on in.

So for the past few weeks I have been through lots of ups and downs, emotions and stresses. I have kept to the program probably 85 - 90%. I have a really bad habit of eating out of turn which doesnt make things too easy. Just one little taste out of turn makes it hard to stay on the right track.

I have given up coffee for this program, and am not missing it at all. I havent had a coffee for 7 weeks. Yay. I am enjoying the journey and am amazed at how long I have stuck to it with no real up turns. I feel fantastic and am making some great progress.

I am working out 3 days per week Monday, Wednesday & Friday with a cardio session of 20 - 40 mins after each. I do try to do cardio on Tuesday and Fridays and have left the weekends free or open ended to either rest or do cardio.

Did a workout today but felt that I was struggling a little with it. But I did push myself through it and completed it. Booked myself an assessment with one of the trainers for Wednesday to check my fat level and see how I am going. oooh so not excited about that. I had a sidetracked sort of weekend, and at that point in the month where food is good, anything and everything (ordinarily, but not now) would love to jump inside my mouth. I feel it is really bad this week more so than what I have had to face yet. So trying to get through that without comprimising myself or my program. Am trying to drink lots of water to get rid of the feeling.

Well I am signing out for the evening but will drop in tomorrow and post away again.

Bye

Day 12 (Week 2)

2008-08-06T16:47:00.004+10:00

Well finally decided to start my blog, why I suppose I wanted to be able to keep a journal of my 12 week challenge. I feel that this will push me to keep it real and to keep going. I find that writing what I have done in the day in regards to my fitness, it enforces the power to keep going.

So this week I have increased my resistant workouts to 3 days per week, Mon, Wed & Fri with a cardio session following that and my cardio days Tues, Thursday and Sat if I can fit it in. I am also doing Tai Chi on Monday and Wednesday nights and when I remember or am not knackered will do some Windsor Pilates, Wii Fit and or the Fat wobbly machine. But I cant do them all the time, I do think I need some REST periods some where.

I feel that I have a real DETERMINATION to complete and keep going. I really am enjoying my gym workouts and find them far more better than cardio. I think I am becoming a gym junky. And watching a youtube video of "Body For Life" just makes me want to push harder and be a challenge to myself.

I have at least 29kgs to loose and lots of body fat so am putting my all into doing it. Hope to chat with some of you over my journey. Until tomorrow.

Rachael